Hey Reader,

Welcome to the very first edition of my newsletter!

I’ve been hesitant to start this because it feels very intimidating. Sharing my art is one thing, but putting the thoughts and emotions behind that art in writing? Well that’s a whole different beast.

But here it goes…

I’ve always felt drawn to the human figure, be it athletically, scientifically, or artistically. Bodies have always been at the peak of my fascinations in life. We all have a body, which at its simplest, is a vessel to hold our humanity. But we, as a species, love to categorize and classify things, so our bodies become inseparable from how the world perceives us.

I was born female, thus I became categorized as girl/woman, and socialized as such. But I always felt at conflict with that categorization. As a kid I can remember absolutely loving to wear a pair of lime green overalls and a lizard printed turtle neck. When I wore it I felt so cool, so fashionable, so right. (We can debate my sense of fashion in another newsletter). Wearing skirts and dresses made my skin crawl, and even the comfort supplied by a compliment, would fade faster than the compliment itself.

My most recent series, “Transmasculine Regard,” focused on powerful, confident poses, postures, and stories. Upon reflection, it was a shout into the world that, “You miscategorized me. I am trans and I want you to see and acknowledge me as such.” It was a documentation of the confidence, the surgery, and the ‘fuck ‘em’ attitude that it took to get my body to align with my soul. Those were important steps for me to be openly, happily, trans-nonbinary. But now, I have gotten to spend a small — but impactful — part of my life authentically in my skin, and I am beginning to recognize the quieter moments. The moments when the human body is imperceptibly intertwined with the person it is holding within.

I’m still young, and have only been out as nonbinary for four years, so the louder, more direct, energy that created “Transmasculine Regard” still shows up. But as I continue my artistic development, I am trying to dig deeper. I am attempting to zoom in on the calm, quiet confidence of being trans. The intimate moments where transmasculinity and the body are woven together: the behavior of skin before injecting testosterone, or the way scar-tissue behaves reclining against a pillow. Daily vignettes of the distinct choices I make to lean into my authenticity. Instances that reward my bravery. I want to focus on the everyday moments that make me proud to be in the body I was given and have crafted to fit the person I am.

Thank you so much for joining me on this journey from the very beginning.

Until next month,

Mal